My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
