THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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