just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
