Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
