5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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