Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
