I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
