found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
