Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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