Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
