How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
