It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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