Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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