If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
