The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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