The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
its not stalking. its research.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
