On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
