Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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