hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
