Kiss
Puke
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
