She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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