Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
