ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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