Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
