He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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