That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
