Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
