How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Apparently you make a good broom.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
