so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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