dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
