WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
