Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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