she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
