I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
