even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
