I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
