thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
