Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
