dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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