I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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