i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Come see our sink grown plant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
