We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
