Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
