Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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