woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
