You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
