In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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