Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
