CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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