I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
