i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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