Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
